Stop worrying too much

Recently I saw a survey that says:
• 40 percent of the things we worry about never happen,
• 30 percent are in the past and can't be helped,
• 12 percent concern the affairs of others
• 10 percent are about sickness--either real or imagined
• 8 percent are worth worrying about.
I would submit that even the 8 percent aren't really worth the energy of worry.

Did you know that the English word worry is derived from an Anglo-Saxon word that means to strangle or to choke? That's easy to believe. People do literally worry themselves to death leading to heart disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, nervous disorders and all sorts of other diseases. Is it worth it?
   
We just need to find a way to keep it from ruling our lives.

Try this:
• Analyze the situation honestly and figure out what is the worst possible thing that could happen.
• Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst, if necessary.
• Then calmly try to improve upon the worst, which you have already agreed mentally to accept.
• You know what you have to do; it's just a matter of doing it. Without worrying.
The point is, you can't saw sawdust. A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work. People get so busy worrying about yesterday or tomorrow, they forget about today. And today is what you have to work with.

Drop all negative references to your past

One of the most severely limiting beliefs that many of us have is that the person we were yesterday is the person we have to be today. This belief keeps us tied to our past mistakes, habits, and limitations.

We somehow buy into the notion that if we weren’t successful yesterday, we certainly can’t be successful today or tomorrow.

If you can see how ridiculous and self-defeating this belief is, you can make an instant shift toward success. What prevents us from tapping into this potential is our own mental ties to the past. Letting go of your past is like taking a set of heavy chains from around your neck.

Our past has no power other than the power we give it. One of the most dynamic and significant changes you can make in your life is to make the commitment to drop all negative references to your past, to begin living now. The positive energy you create may shock you. New doors and opportunities will open.

As your past habits creep into your consciousness, simply acknowledge them and let them go. Focus on what you can do today, right now in this moment.

Change yourself rather than trying to change the world

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One day, he went for a trip to some distant areas of his country. When he came back to his palace, he complained that his feet were very painful, because it was the first time that he went for such a long trip, and the road that he went through was very rough and stony. He then ordered his people to cover every road of the entire country with leather carpet.

Definitely, this would need thousands of cows’ skin, and would cost a huge amount of money. Then one of his wise servants dared himself to tell the king, “Why do you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money? Why don’t you just cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet?”

The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make a “shoe” for himself.

There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story: to make this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself - your heart; and not the world.

Three last wishes!

Alexander, the great Greek king, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home.  On the way, he fell ill and it took him to his death bed.  So, the mighty conqueror lay prostrate and pale, helplessly waiting to breathe his last. 

He called his generals and said, "I will depart from this world soon, I have three wishes, please carry them out without fail."  With tears flowing down their cheeks, the generals agreed to abide by their king's last wishes.  "My first desire is that," said Alexander, "My physicians alone must carry my coffin."  After a pause, he continued, "Secondly, I desire that when my coffin is being carried to the grave, the path leading to the graveyard be strewn with gold, silver and precious stones which I have collected in my treasury."  The king felt exhausted after saying this.  He took a minute's rest and continued.  "My third and last wish is that both my hands be kept dangling out of my coffin." 

Alexander's favorite general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart.  "O king, we assure you that your wishes will all be fulfilled.  But tell us why do you make such strange wishes."  At this Alexander took a deep breath and said: "I would like the world to know of the three lessons I have just learnt.  I want my physicians to carry my coffin because people should realize that no doctor can really cure any body.  They are powerless and cannot save a person from the clutches of death.  So let not people take life for granted. 

The second wish of strewing gold, silver and other riches on the way to the graveyard is to tell people that not even a fraction of gold will come with me.  I spent all my life earning riches but cannot take anything with me.  Let people realize that it is a sheer waste of time to chase wealth.  And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of the coffin, I wish people to know that I came empty handed into this world and empty handed I go out of this world."  With these words, the king closed his eyes.  Soon he let death conquer him and breathed his last.

Each person views the world differently

When someone acts in a way that seems strange to you, rather than reacting in your usual way, such as, “I can’t believe they would do that,” instead say something to yourself like “I see, that must be the way she sees things in her world. Very interesting.”

When you are genuinely curious about the way someone reacts or the way they feel about something, it’s unlikely that you will be annoyed.

When you are interested in other perspectives, it doesn’t imply, even slightly, that you’re advocating it. It just means that there are many perspectives of looking at the same thing.

Each person views the world differently. Each person reacts and feels differently based on their beliefs, paradigms, upbringing, experiences, values etc.

Look for the extraordinary in the ordinary

Two workers were approached by a reporter. The reporter asked the first worker, “What are you doing?” His response was to complain that he was virtually a slave, an underpaid bricklayer who spent his days wasting his time, placing bricks on top of one another.

The reporter asked the second worker the same question. His response, however, was quite different. “I’m the luckiest person in the world,” he said. “I get to be a part of important and beautiful pieces of architecture. I help turn simple pieces of brick into exquisite masterpieces.”

They were both right.

The truth is, we see in life what we want to see. If you search for ugliness you’ll find plenty of it. If you want to find fault with other people, your service, or the world in general, you’ll certainly be able to do so. But the opposite is also true. If you look for the extraordinary in the ordinary, you can train yourself to see it. This bricklayer sees cathedrals within pieces of brick. The question is, can you?

All of life is in a constant state of change

Everything has beginning and everything has an end. Every tree begins with a seed and will eventually transform back into earth. In our modern world, this means that every car, every machine, every piece of clothing is created and all will wear out and crumble; it’s only a matter of time. Our bodies are born and they will die. A glass is created and will eventually break. All of life is in a constant state of change.

When you expect something to break, you’re not surprised or disappointed when it does. Instead of becoming immobilized when something is destroyed, you feel grateful for the time you have had.

The easier place to start is with the simple things, a glass of water, for example. Pull out your favorite drinking glass. Take a moment to look at and appreciate its beauty and all it does for you. Now, imagine that same glass as already broken, shattered all over the floor.

Obviously, no one wants their favorite drinking glass, or anything else, to be broken. This philosophy is not a prescription for becoming passive or apathetic, but for making peace with the way things are. When your drinking glass does break, this understanding allows you to maintain your perspective. Rather than thinking, “Oh my God,” you’ll find yourself thinking, “Ah, there it goes.”

Lord Krishna instructs in Bhagavad-gita 2.13
As the embodied soul continuously passes, in this body, from boyhood to youth to old age, the soul similarly passes into another body at death. A sober person is not bewildered by such a change. 

Many times we feel as though we are worthless

A well-known speaker started off his public speech in a strange manner – by holding up a Rupee 1000 Note! Holding up the Note high in the air in one of his hands, he addressed the curious audience, "Who would like this Rupee 1000 Note?"
   
With great cheers almost all of them raised their hands with the shout, "I want it", "I want it”!! He said, "Oh! That’s nice. Well, I am going to give this Note to one of you... But, first let me do this." Then, he crumpled the Note in his hands vigorously & now showed the awkwardly wrinkled 1000 Rupee Note by holding up high in his hand. He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
The same hands went up in the air this time too.
   
"Well", he replied, "What if I do this?" and he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe like a mad man. It seemed he is deriving great merriment in his unusual act. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. It was so smudgy that no one could recognize it now as a 1000 Rupee Note. "Now who still wants it?" Strangely, now also, all the hands were up in the air with equal cheers & spirit.
  
Now he addressed his audience with great feeling. "My friends," said he, "You have all learned a very valuable lesson today. No matter what I did to this valuable Rupee Note, all of you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth the same - Rs.1000/-
   
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt of shame & insult by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come in our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. In the eyes of God, you are the same "most precious jewel of His". 

Recognizing an opportunity

When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers. The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"!

The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold.

So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles.
He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold - throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea.

The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about mid-afternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.

So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away. 

Think problems as speed bumps

Rather than labeling the issues that come up during a typical work day as problems, think of them as speed bumps (speed breakers). An actual speed bump, as you know, is a low bump in a road designed to get your attention and slow you down. Depending on how you approach and deal with the bump, it can be a miserable, uncomfortable, even damaging experience, or it can simply be a temporary slow down – no big deal.

If you step on the gas, speed up, and tighten the wheel, for example, you’ll hit the bump with a loud thump! Your car may be damaged, you’ll make a great deal of noise, and you can even injure yourself. In addition, you’ll add unnecessary wear and tear to your car, and you’ll look foolish and obnoxious to other people.

If, however, you approach the bump softly and wisely, you’ll be over it in no time. You’ll suffer no adverse effects, and your car will be completely unaffected. Let’s face it. Either way, you’re likely to get over the bump.

Problems can be looked at in a similar light. Depending on how you approach and deal with the problem, it can be a miserable experience, or it can simply be a temporary slowdown – no big deal.

Approach the problems like speed bumps - softly and wisely.

Remember to Acknowledge

You can acknowledge others in many ways. When someone calls you, acknowledge the call. When they send you something, remember to say thank you. When someone does a good job, say so. When they apologize, acknowledge that too.

It’s especially important to acknowledge acts of kindness – doing so reinforces the act and encourages more of the same. We all benefit.

Almost everyone loves to be acknowledged. We love to have our phone calls returned, to be told we are doing a great job, to be thanked for working so hard, to have our creativity appreciated.

People remember acknowledgment and they appreciate it. When you need a favor, or advice, the fact that you have previously taken the time to acknowledge someone often comes back to help you. It makes others want to help you and to see you succeed.

Also, people who have been acknowledged genuinely and with love are very forgiving. They will see beyond your mistakes and failures and forgive you freely. Needless to say, all of this makes your life easier and far less stressful. 

Take your breaks regularly

There was a time when I felt that breaks were a waste of time. I assumed that by skipping my breaks unless it was absolutely necessary, I would be able to save a great deal of time and get more done – I would have an edge. I would work through lunch and rarely take breaks throughout the day.

In recent years, I’ve learned that a failure to take regular breaks is an enormous mistake that not only wears you down over time, but actually makes you less productive. While you may not even feel it at the time, slowly but surely your frustrations will sneak up on you. You’ll become less patient and attentive, and your concentration and listening skills will suffer.

I believe that the cumulative effects, over time, are also significant. You’ll burn out much more quickly, and your creativity and insights will slowly fade away.

Your breaks don’t have to be disruptive or last very long. Usually, all you need is a few minutes to clear your head, take some deep breaths, stretch your arms, or get some air. When you take this time – every couple of hours, or so – you’ll return to your work more enthusiastic, focused, and ready to go. It’s almost as though you push a “reset button” and you provide yourself with a fresh start.

I feel that by working a few less minutes each couple of hour and by taking regular mini breaks, I will work smarter, more efficiently and actually get more work accomplished.

Be aware of what you do not know and are not good at

My father used to tell me as he read my poorly written essays in school, “It’s not important that you’re not a great speller. It’s really important, however, that you know that you’re not a good speller. That way, when in doubt, you can use the dictionary.”

My dad was absolutely correct, but not just about spelling. The same idea applies to virtually everything. In my work, for example, it’s not critical that I’m an expert editor as long as I know my own weaknesses and limitation. I can hire someone to fill in where I’m weak. Similarly, I’m not a great coordinator for putting together all the details of a public lecture. No problem. I can hire someone who is. It’s always smarter to do this and, in the long run, it’s almost always less expensive and more profitable. The only time there would be a problem is if I didn’t know that I wasn’t good at something or if I was unwilling to admit it.

Chances are you’re probably really good at certain things and really bad at others. So what? Why should you frustrate yourself? This doesn’t mean you can’t learn new skills or improve existing ones. It merely suggests that you spend the bulk of your time doing whatever you are good at and is most important to your success.

It’s easy to get bogged down and defeated doing tasks you aren’t very good at.

Ask for what you want

It is astonishing what you can accomplish by simply asking for what you want – help, forgiveness, an idea, another chance, a break, or whatever. And not only can you get what you want by asking for it, but often the person you are asking will thank you for taking the initiative.

If it’s so obviously helpful and important to ask for what we want, why do so few of us do it? Once again, the answer is fear. We worry about the outcome. We’re afraid of rejection or a negative response. We might be worried about offending someone or being perceived of as weak, or of taking advantage of our relationship. We may feel we don’t deserve help.

For a multitude of reasons, we allow past negative experiences and/or our own made-up fears to taint our present opportunities.

It’s actually quite arrogant and self-righteous to assume that others aren’t as willing to help. I’m not the only nice guy around. The key in asking for something, large or small, is to be sincere in your beliefs that, deep down, others want to help you. You must approach your request by assuming that the person you are asking is just like you – he or she has an inner longing to be of help to someone.

Once you remove the fear of asking for help, your wisdom and common sense will instruct you when and how to ask.

Let go of fearful thoughts

If you gathered up all the fearful thoughts that exist in the mind of the average person, looked at them objectively, and tried to decide just how much good they provided that person, you would see that not some but all fearful thoughts are useless. They do no good. Zero. They interfere with dreams, hopes, desires, and progress.

Fearful thoughts take many different forms. Sometimes they sound reasonable: “I’m just being careful, so I’m taking my time.” Other times they are tied to your past: “I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work.” Occasionally, fears are cleverly disguised as being realistic: “Most people fail, so I want to be absolutely sure before I get started.” I could fill page after page with other examples. Yet when you take a close, honest look at every fearful thought, there are threads of similarity. All of them are explanations or rationalizations for why something shouldn’t or can’t work. They are usually justifications for quitting, or for not getting started.

Fearful thoughts hold you back, not some but all of the time.

A critic, especially a fearful one, will look at this advice and say it’s unrealistic, simplistic, and/or foolish. The problem with overcoming these objections is that, on the surface, they sound reasonable. Let me assure you that I’m not suggesting you ignore the facts and take unnecessary and/or foolish risks.

What I’m talking about here are the fears that clearly and directly interfere with your dreams – the fear of rejection, the fear of failure; thoughts like “What will everyone think of me? I might look foolish,” or “I don’t think I can do it, I don’t have the time, or the experience, or the confidence.” These common, ongoing fearful thoughts are the dream snatchers of our own making.

Do not panic unnecessarily

People panic about practically everything—missed deadlines, orders not received, comments by others, fear of mistakes, negative trends. You name it and someone has panicked about it. Yet I’ve never seen even a single instance where the panic actually helped to solve the problem. Instead, panic is neutral at best and greatly interferes at worst. Panic tends to bring out the worst in everyone. It makes others (and you) feel tense and fearful. It increases the likelihood of mistakes, missed opportunities and miscommunications.

Nothing interferes with the creation of success and abundance like panic. When you make the commitment to stop panicking, you’ll notice some incredible things happening. First, you’ll notice that a vast majority of what you are most worried about will never happen, or it won’t be as bad as you first thought. It was Benjamin Franklin who said, “Some terrible things happened in my lifetime – a few of which actually happened.”

By avoiding the panic, you won’t waste time, anxiety, and energy trying to solve what probably doesn’t need solving. Second, when you learn to keep your bearings, your wisdom will come forth. In the absence of worry, answers will emerge. Instead of a head full of concerns, you’ll create a head full of solutions. Finally, when you stay calm, you really do bring out the best in others. Many people react to the feelings of others. If you can maintain your bearings, chances are the people you work with will, too.
  
To bring forth your greatest potential, eliminate panic altogether from your thinking.. 

Be willing to apologize

Whenever you are in some service – or when you are taking risks, making things happen, interacting with others, or in the public eye – you are bound to make mistakes. At times you are going to use bad judgment, say something wrong, offend someone, criticize unnecessarily, be too demanding, or act selfishly. The question isn’t whether you will make these mistakes – we all do. The question is, can you admit to them? If so, the question becomes, can you apologize?
   
Many people never apologize. They are either too self-conscious, self-righteous, stubborn, or arrogant to do so. The unwillingness to apologize is not just sad; it is a serious mistake as well. Almost everyone expects others to make mistakes and with a humble and sincere apology, almost everyone is willing to forgive. However, if you are a person who is either unable or unwilling to apologize, you will be branded a difficult person to work with. And over time, people will avoid you, speak behind your back, and do nothing to help you.
   
The ability to apologize, to admit mistakes, is a beautiful human quality that brings people closer together and helps us succeed. By simply acknowledging our humanness and saying “I am sorry” when appropriate, we bond with others and increase their trust in us. Obviously, you must never apologize as a tool of manipulation, to try to get a response like this or to get something out of it.

When you apologize from your heart, you keep most of your existing doors open. Occasionally, you may even open doors that had previously been closed.

Don’t worry if you do not have some facility

A jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.  'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'. 'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email that means you don’t exist. And who doesn't exist, can’t have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.

He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.    

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go every day earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US. He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.

When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email. The man replied, ‘I don't have an email.'

The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been If you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!' 

Never ever backstab

There are many good reasons why we should never backstab. First of all, it sounds terrible and makes us look really bad. When I hear someone slamming someone behind his back, it says nothing about the person they are referring to, but it does say a great deal about the person who is backstabbing. To me, someone who slams a person behind his back is hypocritical or two-faced.
  
A person in a habit of backstabbing will put on a smile and say nice things to people but, behind their backs, he would act in a completely different way. To me that’s not fair play.

But aside from being a mean-spirited and unfair thing to do, backstabbing creates other problems as well. It causes stress, anxiety, and other negative feelings.

How does it feel to say nasty, offensive, and negative things about someone else who isn’t even there to defend themselves? Obviously, answer is so obvious that it’s almost embarrassing to discuss. I know that when I have backstabbed in the past, my words have left me with an uncomfortable feeling. I remember asking myself the question, “How could you stoop so low?” You simply can’t win this way.

Finally, it’s absolutely predictable that if you backstab someone, you will lose the respect and trust of the people you are sharing with. Remember, most of the people you’re sharing with are your friends or colleagues. It’s important to realize that, even if they appear to enjoy what you are saying, and even if they too are participating in the gossip, there will always be a part of them that knows that you are capable of backstabbing. They’ve seen it firsthand. It’s inevitable that they will ask themselves the question, “If he will talk behind someone else’s back, wouldn’t he be capable of doing the same thing to me? What’s more, they know that the answer is ‘YES’. 

Avoid the phrase: I have to go to work

This article has to do with six of the most common words in the English language: “I have to go to work.”

In all probability, it’s absolutely true that you do “have to” got to work. Nevertheless, these particular words carry with them some really negative baggage that, I believe, is self-destructive.

Other than your thoughts, your words are your primary entry point into your experience. When you “have” to do something, it implies that it’s not a choice – that you would rather be somewhere else, doing something different. This, in turn, implies that your heart isn’t fully into what you are doing, which makes living up to your potential extremely difficult and enjoying your experience near impossible.

So, when you say, “I have to go to work,” you are in a subtle way setting yourself up for a bad day. This doesn’t mean you’ll always have a bad day – but it certainly increases the likelihood.

Beyond that, however, there is a more subtle negative message you send to yourself and to others. It seems that deep down, what you’re really saying is, “I don’t like my work. I’m not capable of choosing work that I enjoy.” What a horrible message to say to yourself (or to someone else) about something you spend most of your time doing! Think about it. If you really loved your work, why would you be saying, “I have to go to work? Do you ever say, “I have to start my weekend now”? 

Express your gratitude toward others

The people we remember to thank, in person, with a thoughtful note or gesture, or a phone call, are infinitely more likely to help us again than those we take for granted or neglect to thank. It’s so obvious, yet so few people really understand how this works.

People love to be acknowledged, admired, and thanked. People love to be thanked, not out of any selfish need but simply because it feels good to be acknowledged. And when we are sincerely acknowledged, the acknowledgment acts as reinforcement that we have done the right thing. Thus, we want to do it again.

The next time you do something really nice or helpful for someone and they thank you, take note of how it makes you feel.

 It’s true that there are many instances where you would help someone again without expecting any thanks. However, you’ll find yourself even more willing to help someone who expresses their gratitude and acknowledged your help.

By engaging in constant gratitude, you’ll be guaranteeing success, happiness and better relationships.

Handling setbacks & failures

The question isn’t whether or not we will have setback, disappointments, and failures in life – we will. Rather, the question is, how will we deal with them? Will we become upset, immobilized, frustrated, and hopeless or will we take a more positive approach and depend on Lord in such situations?

In other words, setbacks and failures can seem significant, even insurmountable in the moment. Yet, once we get through them, we look back at them as a necessary, even important part of our success. A number of people have told me that some major failures were the best thing that ever happened to them. Sure, it was painful while it was happening, but it woke them up and taught them some important lessons in life.

Few people are successful immediately, never rejected, perfectly placed the first time around. It’s usually just the opposite --- trial & error, rejection, setbacks, failures, & so forth.

If you are defeated over and over again, you can focus on the fact that things aren’t working out, beat yourself up mentally, and feel hopeless – or you can learn from your mistakes, improve your skills, let go of the past, and move on.

All the frustration in the world isn’t going to change what has already happened – so why make a big issue out of it?

The trick, I believe, is being able to use not only our past setbacks, but the current ones as well, to help us grow and move on. In other words, when something doesn’t work out well, rather than dwelling on it and feeling badly, we let it go, see what we can learn, make any necessary adjustments, and move forward.

Learning to stop making a big issue of our setbacks is a powerful way to live a better life. Without the ongoing nagging and heaviness of self-directed criticism and worrisome thoughts, we free up energy to be creative, hardworking, and successful.

Never write an email when you’re mad or upset

The Internet – specifically, e-mail—has done wonders to increase our capacity to communicate. With lightening speed, we can now write letters, share ideas and even close deals. The benefits are astonishing.

There’s a downside to e-mail, however, that’s important to be aware of. The problem is, it’s tempting, when you’re mad or upset; to fire off an e-mail that you might very well live to regret.

In a reactive or upset state of mind, or when you’re lacking judgment or perspective, it’s easy to act impulsively rather than with composure and wisdom. In the blink of an eye, you can confuse someone, hurt their feelings, enrage them, or even destroy a relationship.

The good news is, the flip side of this issue is also true. If you’re mad at someone and are tempted to share your feelings via e-mail – but you manage to resist – your restraint can pay enormous dividends.

Who knows how many relationships are ruined, or at least adversely affected, every day, by someone clicking “send” instead of simply walking away?

Some practical advice is this: Whenever possible, when you’re upset, refrain from sending e-mails. It’s dangerous territory. Instead, wait until you cool off. In the long run, you’ll maintain good relationships, and avoid unnecessary conflict.

Change what you can & accept the things you can't

There is prayer that says: “Lord, grant me the strength to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

In life there are things we must deal with. There are things we can change, that we have some power to control. There are other things that are absolutely beyond our control. Yet how often do we spend our time and energy doing absolutely nothing about the things we do have some control over, while whining and complaining about those things we can’t do anything about? Often, because we have our priorities twisted in the wrong direction, we end up chasing our tails and wasting time. Once we change gears, and focus only on those things that we have some capacity to control, it’s easy to get back on track.

It’s tempting to focus on aspects of life that are beyond our control. How often do you hear people complaining about taxes? While no one likes to pay taxes, and certainly no one should pay any more than he or she is legally required to pay, there is a great deal of wisdom in spending your time creating more wealth rather than complaining about taxes.

Go ahead and lobby for lower taxes if you must. Voice your opinion if you choose to do so. But once you have done what you can do, let go of it. Know when to quit. Expend your energy doing what you can do – focus on creation, creativity, positive ideas, and solutions. Stop complaining about taxes; focus, instead, on making so much money that taxes will seem irrelevant! 

Stop Anticipating Tiredness

I overheard two men speaking. It was as if each person was trying to convince the other, and perhaps themselves, how many hours and how hard they were working, how few hours of sleep they were going to get, and, most of all, how tired they were going to be. I wasn’t quite sure if they were bragging or complaining, but one thing was certain, they were appearing more and more tired the longer the conversation continued. 

The problem with anticipating tiredness in this way, or in any way, is that it clearly reinforces the tiredness. It rivets your attention to the number of hours you are sleeping and how tired you are going to be. Then, when you wake up, you are likely to do it again by reminding yourself how few hours it has been since your head hit the pillow. Who knows what really happens, but seems to me that anticipating tiredness must send a message to your brain reminding you to feel and act tired because that is the way you have programmed yourself to respond.      

Clearly, everyone needs a certain degree of rest. I’ve read a few articles suggesting that many, if not most, of us don’t get enough sleep. And if you’re tired, the best possible solution would probably be to try to get more sleep. But in those instances when it’s not possible to do so, the worst thing you can do, in my estimation, is to convince yourself, in advance, that you are going to be exhausted.      

I’ve noticed this habit of anticipating tiredness creep into the conversations of many people. If you are someone who does this, see if you can avoid the tendency as much as possible. If you do, you may find yourself feeling less tired.

Facing problems in life

You can be annoyed by problems in life; think about how unfair and awful they are, complaining about them with others. You can remind yourself, over and over again, how difficult life is and how this problem is yet another justification for why you “have a right” to be upset! You can tighten up. Unfortunately, this is the way many people approach their problems.

When you think of your problems as speed bumps on a road, however, they begin to look very different. You’ll begin to expect a number of speed bumps to present themselves during a typical day. Like riding a bike, bumps are simply a part of the experience. You can fight and resist, or you can relax and accept.

As a problem shows up during your day, you can begin to say to yourself, “Ah, here’s another one.” Then, like the bump on your bike ride, you begin to relax into it, thereby absorbing the shock, making it seem less significant. Then you can calmly decide what action or decision is likely to get you over this hurdle in the most effective, graceful manner. The calmer and more relaxed you remain, the easier it is to remember & depend on the Lord. Lord will then guide what best you can do in a given situation or circumstance.

Lord Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita 18.58

If you become conscious of Me, you will pass over all the obstacles of conditioned life by My grace. If, however, you do not work in such consciousness but act through false ego, not hearing Me, you will be lost. 

Avoid the trap of reaction spirals

It’s a rare person who can avoid the trap of reaction spirals. This is the dangerous tendency to overreact to something – and then compound the problem by over analyzing it. Here is a typical example: someone criticizes some aspect of your work. You overreact to the criticism and become defensive. Then you spend the next half hour analyzing the critical comments, convincing yourself they are incorrect. A whirlwind of thoughts passes through your mind. You focus on the criticism. The more you do, the worse you feel, and the more tired you become.

The truth is, in a negative state of mind, we expend unnecessary energy, make very poor decisions, and lose our creativity and sense of joy. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could nip these reaction spirals in the bud?

You can! The trick is to see them coming and to commit, in advance, to “short circuiting” them. With every negative reaction comes a negative feeling – a feeling of irritation, annoyance, or impatience. We often use these feelings to justify further negativity. For example, we say to ourselves something like, “I have a right to be angry.” Now that we’re focused on our anger, we think about other instances that make us angry, and so on. This fuels our negative feelings and creates a negative spiral.

If, instead of compounding our negative feelings, we used them as a signal to alert us to potential trouble, we would be in a much better position to stop the cycle before it got out of hand.

Never ever let success go to your head!

There’s an alarming trend taking place: People who have had some degree of good fortune and success tend to lose their humility and become at least slightly arrogant. This is very unfortunate for many reasons. First, and most obviously, no one really wants to be around someone who is arrogant. It’s boring, and it’s annoying! Arrogance implies a lack of gratitude. The assumption is, “I did this all by myself; it’s all about me.” Factors such as Lord’s blessings, good fortune, and so on are forgotten or disregarded.

In addition, when you allow success to go to your head, your stress levels skyrocket and your quality of life gradually disappears. People will stop liking you, and eventually, you’ll stop liking yourself.

Friendships slip away; obsessive busyness and a lack of time take over. Someone who was happy and relatively easy to please is now impossible to satisfy.

I’ve read articles about celebrities, athletes, and business people who have done really well – their talent, timing, hard work, luck, and all the rest of it kicked in at just the right time. Yet, rather than being grateful and keeping a sense of perspective, they think that they are somehow better or more important than others simply because they’re good at something and have enjoyed some success.

Never ever let success go to your head! 

Be willing to seek out, listen to, and take advice

I believe that if someone has worked hard, achieved some measure of success, and is willing to help, I’d be a fool not to listen! Plus, as you probably already know, almost everyone loves to give advice.

Unfortunately, many people miss out on one of the surest shortcuts to success: to seek out, listen to, and take advice. So often, when a person struggles, he or she is very close to a major breakthrough. They are literally “an inch away” from achieving their goals and dreams. If they would just open their eyes to a blind spot, see something they are doing in a slightly different or new way, their success would be phenomenal and certain.

I believe there are many incredibly talented people who are on the verge of possible greatness, or on the verge of improving their life in a meaningful way. Yet this one tiny flaw – the unwillingness to listen to anyone else and the absolute unwillingness to take advice – consistently gets in their way. Don’t let this minor obstacle get in your way.

The advice is out there. People want to help you. Allow yourself to receive help and the quality of your life will soar.

Keep yourself healthy - physically and emotionally

Many times people say things like, “I don’t have time to exercise,” what they really should be saying is, “I don’t have time not to exercise.”

If you lose your health and sense of well-being, you won’t make it to work at all. In the long run, it takes far less time to take care of yourself than it does to lose your ability to function well.

One should eat well, exercise, get plenty of rest, have regular physical checkups, and partake in other healthy habits. In addition to the obvious problems associated with ignoring these commonsense health habits, you can see that it’s also a horrible waste of time in the long run. Each cold or flu costs you days of productive work time. Who knows how many years of time you will save by simple taking care of yourself?

Take care of yourself – physically and emotionally. You can let go of your fear that you’ll fall behind because, in fact, you’ll be more productive and have a longer, happier life. So keep yourself healthy – physically and emotionally. 

Don’t keep people waiting

Time is precious to everyone. It’s a bad habit to keep other people waiting. Almost everyone feels that one of their most valued commodities is their time. This being the case, one of the ultimate slaps and most sure way to annoy someone is to keep them waiting. While most people are somewhat forgiving, keeping them waiting is a sign of disrespect. The subtle message is, “My time is more important than yours.”

Deep down, we all know that no one likes to be kept waiting. Therefore, it’s highly stressful to keep other people waiting because you know you are disappointing someone. In the back of your mind, you know well the person is looking at his watch, wondering why you are late. You may be keeping him from personal or professional commitments and that could make him angry.
   
There are obviously exceptions to the rule – times when factors beyond your control prevent you from being on time. Things happen to all of us, and no one has a perfect record. Truthfully, however, a vast majority of the time, being late is preventable by planning ahead, allowing a little extra time, or making allowances for unexpected problems.
   
Many times we compound the problem by making excuse like “traffic was horrible,” when, in reality, traffic is virtually always horrible. The problem wasn’t traffic – but the fact that we didn’t factor enough time in our schedule for the traffic. It’s likely the case that, even if traffic was horrible, or you got off to a late start, or whatever the excuse, the other person isn’t going to be interested or impressed.
  
I wouldn’t underestimate the negative impact of making someone wait. It drives some people crazy. And, even if they don’t express their frustration to you directly, it can show up in other ways – not taking you seriously, avoiding you when possible, being disrespectful, choosing to spend their time with others instead of you, showing up late to your future appointments, etc. 

Be careful what you ask for

Many of us spend a great deal of time wishing things were different. We dream of a “better job,” less of this, and more of that. Sometimes, the things we spend our energy longing for actually do (or would) improve the quality our life. Other times, however, the very things we wish for are hardly worth the trade-offs, or the effort. For this reason, I suggest you be really careful what you ask for.

Carefully think through what it is that you want, because you just might end up getting it, which is often – more frustration, more grief, more travel, more conflict, more demands on your time, and so forth. When you think in these terms, it often helps you reconnect with your gratitude and realize that perhaps things aren’t as bad as we sometimes make them out to be.

I’ve met plenty of people who spent years focused on how much better their lives were going to be when certain things occurred – i.e. when they were finally promoted to various positions – so much so that they took for granted the good parts of the position they already had. In other words, they were so focused on what was wrong with their careers that they failed to enjoy and appreciate the gifts they were enjoying all along.

Keep in mind that a better paying position might make you feel more financially secure and it might be worth it – but you may give up other things that you haven’t yet considered, or that you simply take for granted. Remember; be careful what you ask for, because you might just get it – and more. 

You catch more flies with honey

When I see someone acting aggressively or intimidating someone, pushing their weight around, or being manipulative, I feel like reminding them that, in the long run, you really do catch more flies with honey. Simply put, it pays to be nice! Sure, there are times when being pushy or aggressive will assist you in getting your way – you can scare away, intimidate certain people some of the time. But I believe that this type of aggressive attitude and behavior almost comes back to haunt you.

When you are kind, loving, and patient – when you are fair, a good listener, and when you genuinely care about others – your attitude comes across in all you do. As a result, people love to be around you and will be comfortable and trusting in your presence. They side with you, share their secrets of success, and want to assist you in any way they can. Very simply, they delight in your success.

When you are gentle, people are drawn to you like “flies to honey.” They forgive you easily when you make a mistake and are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. When they talk about you behind your back, their comments will be positive and upbeat. You will have a notable reputation.

It’s unfortunate, but the opposite is also true. When you’re difficult or demanding, your positive qualities are often overlooked, disregarded, or forgotten. In addition, you create a great deal of stress for yourself with an adversarial, aggressive attitude. You’ll be looking over your shoulder wondering who, if anyone is on your side. When you’re pushy, you actually push people away. But when you’re gentle and kind, people are drawn to your energy and sincerity. 

Stay away from the blame game

One of the most insidious tempting habits is the habit of blaming others or external conditions for our failures, mistakes, problems, and lack of success. You might call it “the blame game.”

Blaming others is a very easy thing to do. It creeps into our lives in subtle, as well as not so subtle ways. It shows up in our thoughts and in our conversations. We might, for example, think to ourselves, “I’d be more successful if the products I were selling were of better quality,” or “I’d make more money if I had taken a different career direction”. We might attribute our lack of fulfillment to changing times, recession, a missed opportunity, or too little education. Or, we might complain “I can’t help it, no one ever taught me how to close a deal.” The habit of blaming can and does happen in almost any situation – we blame our competitors, employer, the government, our personal history, our age, even our parents or current family responsibilities.

It’s not that our tendency to blame is without any merit. There usually is a grain or truth in our complaints. But that’s part of the problem. We can almost always justify to ourselves why our version of the blame game is valid. But all that does is keep the game going. And in doing so, we move away from the solution. It’s really easy to blame our lack of exercise on our schedule – it’s little tougher to admit that we are not prioritizing.
 
Most of the time blaming isn’t blatant. It’s far more subtle. And that’s precisely why it’s hard to identify – and put an end to. Yet, if you can have the humility to admit that you, too, fall into this habit from time to time – and you can identify those instances – you will have opened the door to success in life.

Delight in the success of others

Let’s be honest here. Have you ever found yourself secretly wishing someone else would fail? I don’t mean you wish them any serious bad luck, only that they don’t become more successful than you? Sometimes it’s hard to wish others well, particularly those you know well – friends, colleagues, neighbors, family members. It’s hard to see a colleague get the promotion you worked so hard for. It’s difficult to see your friend on television, or your neighbor able to purchase a new car. We’re human; we get jealous.
   
While it can be seductive, or at least habitual, to secretly desire to keep others at your level, it’s absolutely not in your best interest. The way to rise to the top is to wish everyone well, to hope with all your heart that everyone can expand to their greatest potential, to wish that the people you know, and those whom you don’t know, can all realize their dreams and achieve greatness.
   
When you wish someone well, it creates a momentum within you, an inner environment of success. It reminds your spirit of your loving and deserving nature. It creates the atmosphere within you to help you succeed and create abundance. When you delight in the success of others, it’s as if you are sprinkling the seeds for a garden of success.
   
As you wish others well, notice how good it feels. When your wishes are sincere, they will serve as a reminder that giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Truly, it feels as good to see someone else succeed as it does to succeed yourself. Start delighting in the success of others and watch your own level of greatness soar!

Self-confidence

The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.
   
Suddenly an old man appeared before him. "I can see that something is troubling you," he said. After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you."
   
He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time." The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!
   
"I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the un-cashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
   
With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.
   
One year later, he returned to the park with the un-cashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.
   
"I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the home and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller."And she led the old man away.
   
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.
   
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.

God is always around us

A man whispered, "God, speak to me" and a cuckoo bird sang. But, the man did not hear.

So the man yelled, "God, speak to me" and the thunder rolled across the sky. But, the man did not listen.

The man looked around and said, "God, let me see you." And a star shined brightly. But the man did not see.

So, the man cried out in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here." Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man. But, the man brushed the butterfly away, and walked on.

The man cried, "God, I need your help!" And an e-mail arrived reaching out with good news and encouragement.

But, the man deleted it and continued crying. Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.

I found this to be a great reminder that God is always around us in the little and simple things that we take for granted.

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging

A great football coach once said,” Just because you’re doing something wrong, doing it more intensely won’t help.”

Yet, how often do we do just that? We are making a mistake, getting ourselves into trouble – and, instead of backing off, reflecting, and doing it differently, we roll up our sleeves and do the very same thing even more intensely!

The same pattern exists in many areas of our lives. Many people have a great deal of conflict to manage. Whenever a potential new conflict arises, or the environment or circumstances seem to be encouraging that development, instead of backing off and looking  for new ways to defuse the situation, they charge straight ahead, as always – repeating their identical patterns and responses, taking the adversarial approach – and, once again, find themselves in the middle of another drama or conflict. Then, frustrated and stressed, they assume the world is to blame, or that they need to find more effective and more aggressive ways to deal with things. This is the essence of being in a vicious circle. The same essential problems come up over and over again, unless and until you see your own contribution – and vow to do something differently.

The solution is simple, but not always very easy. The trick is to recognize when your part of the pattern is being repeated; for example, “Here I am, arguing again,” or “I’m upset by the very same things – this sure feels familiar.” Then, rather than clenching your fists, feeling frustrated, filing your mind with stressful thoughts, and trying the same old thing, you instead relax, back off, and empty your mind. Soften and try to see the situation in a whole new way.

Be willing to take advice

Once upon a time, there were three people who went to watch drama together. One of them was far-sighted, another one had a hearing problem, and the other had a twisted head.

After the show, they were judging the drama.

“Today’s show had great singers, but the costume design was poor,” said the person who had farsightedness.

“The costume was perfect, but the sound was too low,” said the person who had hearing problem.

“The sound was loud and the costume was fine. Everything was great, but the performance stage was lopsided,” said the person who had twisted head.

From the story above, most people do not admit their shortcomings. It’s because the person, who had farsightedness, cannot see things in clarity, but complains about the costume; the one, who had hearing problem, cannot hear things clearly, but complains about the music; the one, who doesn’t admit his twisted head, but complains about the performance stage.
   
According to statistics, the vocabulary most often used in our daily communication is either “I” or “me”. Aren't conflicts among human and disputes among nations, the results of over-emphasizing one's opinion?

Accept sincere advice and the reality of truth given by others. One who is willing to take advice and relinquish one’s ego can work well with others.

What is Maturity?

Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction.

Maturity is to have patience.

Maturity is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of the long-term gain.

Maturity is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging set-backs.

Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.

Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, "I was wrong." And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, "I told you so."

Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. The immature spend their lives exploring endless possibilities; then they do nothing.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed -- and the wisdom to know the difference.

Honesty

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court.

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, "Your Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale."

The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

What is the moral of the story? We get back in life what we give to others.
   
Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves – more than anyone else.

Your self-defeating beliefs

All of us have beliefs that get in our way. For me, it was my belief that “I didn’t have enough time.” Day after day, for most of my adult life, I would remind myself of this limiting concept. Sometimes I would tell myself this many times in a single day.

What possible value could there be in telling yourself this – or any self-created negative belief? Consider the subtle message that go along with this idea. After all, if I believe that “I don’t have enough time,” I must also believe that “I’ll never get something done on time,” as well as other related, limiting ideas that directly interfere with my success and quality of life. Does this belief help me get things done? Of course not! Does it bring me joy? No. Any effect this belief has is strictly negative.

What’s your most self-defeating belief? Is it that you believe you aren’t good enough? Maybe you believe you don’t deserve success. Perhaps you believe that people are out to get you, or that you are a victim of circumstance. Whatever it is, it’s not worth keeping and certainly not worth defending. But each time you remind yourself – by telling yourself – of your limiting belief, you are reinforcing an idea that directly interferes with your success. It puts a wall between where you are where you want to be.

Each time I slip into my old habit of telling myself that I don’t have enough time, I keep in mind the damage I am inflicting on myself. I remind myself that there is zero value in this, or any, self-defeating belief. You may be surprised, even shocked, at how often you repeat self-defeating statements to yourself and/or to others. The good news is that you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how easily you can rid yourself of their negative effects. Make a commitment to yourself to stop reinforcing this – and all – negative beliefs by discussing them, or even thinking about them. As familiar negatively comes to mind, gently dismiss it. Don’t give it your valuable attention. Save your energy for positive ideas and action. 

Warmth in human relationships

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open.
  
He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.
  
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.
The husband just said, "I am with you."
  
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
 
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
 
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. Take off all your jealousies, un-forgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think. Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

Excellence...

A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage."

The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"
   
The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."
 
The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. "Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and satisfaction of God.

Be a good listener

A slight improvement in our listening skills can pay enormous dividends in the way of better relationships, enhanced performance, and yes, even stress reduction!

Take a moment to reflect on your own listening skills. Do you truly listen to your colleagues? Do you let them finish their thoughts before you take your turn? Do you sometimes finish sentences for other people? In meetings, are you patient and responsive – or are you impatient and reactive? Do you allow words from others to sink in, or do you assume you know what the person is trying to say, so you jump in?

There are a variety of reasons why effective listening is very important. First of all, people who listen well are highly respected and sought after. Truly great listeners are so rare that when you are around one, it feels good, it makes you feel special.

Good listeners are easy to be around, so, quite naturally, you want to reach out and help them. Therefore, when you become a better listener, there will probably be plenty of people in your corner to offer assistance. People tend to be loyal to good listeners because they feel acknowledged and respected.

Effective listening helps you to understand what people are saying the first time they say it, thus allowing you to avoid a great number of mistake and misinterpretations which, as you know, can be very stressful. If you ask people what frustrates them and makes them angry,  many will tell you that “not being listened to” is right near the top of their lists so, being more attentive to what others are saying also helps you avoid many, if not most, interpersonal conflicts. 

As you treat others, so shall you be treated

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. What are some other ways of saying this magical formula? Let’s see. What goes around, comes around. As you treat others, so shall you be treated. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. There are many variations of this.

All you have to do to ensure that you will be treated fairly, respectfully, and with kindness – and to ensure that others will reach out to help you and praise you – is to do these things yourself.

Become a thoughtful person. Offer assistance. Be nice. Reach out to others. Become even more generous. Say “Thank you.” These, and hundreds of other similar little gestures, are the ways you can reach out and tell the world you care.

Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Ultimately, what you offer to the world is exactly what you get back. So, if your goal is to be Krishna Conscious, the most important thing you can do is help others be Krishna Conscious.

Don’t make the mistake of becoming upset or frustrated if your acts of kindness don’t come back immediately. The universe has its own set of rules and its own sense of timing. Be patient and loving. 

Encourage creativity in others & have faith in them

Most people, given the right environment, are hard-working, talented, creative, and productive. They want to please others just as you and I want to. Unfortunately, however, most people are hardly ever exposed to an ideal working environment.

When you encourage creativity in others and have faith in them, it’s like creating the ideal conditions for a garden.

You are “planting the seeds” for an environment where success is most likely to occur. When you plant a garden, you want to have the right type of soil, moisture, and sunshine. When you build people up – instead of pushing them down – you create the psychological equivalent.

The same principle applies whether you are hiring a housekeeper, an accountant, or anyone else. It also applies to your children, your spouse, your friends, and your neighbors. It always works.

When you believe in someone and when that person knows that you believe in him / her, magical things can happen. Do your part by creating the ideal working conditions. Be kind, patient, and supportive. Then, sit back and watch what happens.

Ask yourself - What have I contributed to this problem?

Many people rarely, if ever, ask this critical question. Instead, they automatically assume that any problem they are having must be someone else’s fault. If there is a disagreement or argument, it’s the other person’s fault. If something went wrong, someone else made a mistake.

It simply never occurs to many people that something is their fault. Or, at the very least, that they may be partly responsible. On the surface, it might seem nice to believe that you’re never to blame. The problem, however, with this “never blame me” philosophy is that you’ll rarely be able to pinpoint the one aspect of problem solving that is truly solvable: your own contribution. Once you eliminate the fear associated with admitting that you are, at times, responsible for the parts of your life that aren’t working – minor annoyances and larger problems – you open a whole new door of possibilities.

Once you’re willing to accept responsibility for the problems in your life, you will see obvious solutions that take very minor adjustments to change.

Obviously, I’m not suggesting that everything is your fault, or that you should spend an exorbitant amount of time and energy thinking about your faults and drawbacks. To do so would be a different type of negative habit. It’s critical, however, that you’re honest about your contribution to your problems. Don’t bury your head in the sand. If you truly want to excel in your life, you must be willing to look in the mirror and, with humility and honesty, reflect on your contributions to what’s not going right in your life. That way, you can do something about it.